My Fate & Destiny

Baru abis baca buku ni jap tadi. Lama jugak kan. Aku start since beberapa hari sebelum aku sampai US. Dekat 2 bulan lebih. Tapi actually lately jek baru aku continue balik. Dalam 3 minggu lepas aku start balik. Anyway, jangan tertipu dengan tajuk dia ek. Ni bukan buku cerita pasal nak repair motor. “An inquiry into values”. Itu yang paling tepat sekali.

The receding Ancient Greek perspective of the past ten years has a very darkside: Chris is dead.

He was murdered. At about 8:00 P.M. on Saturday, November 17, 1979, in San Francisco, he left the Zen Center, where he was a student, to visit afriend’s house a block away on Haight Street.

I go on living, more from force of habit than anything else.

 

What had to be seen was that the Chris I missed so badly was not an object but a pattern, and that although the pattern included the flesh and blood of Chris, that was not all there was to it. The pattern was larger than Chris and myself, and related us in ways that neither of us understood completely and neither of us was in complete control of.

Now Chris’s body, which was a part of that larger pattern, was gone. But the larger pattern remained. A huge hole had been torn out of the center of it, and that was what caused all the heartache. The pattern was looking for something to attach to and couldn’t find anything. That’s probably why grieving people feel such attachment to cemetery headstones and any material property or representation of the deceased. The pattern is trying to hang on to its own existence by finding some new material thing to center itself upon.

There is one person I miss so much. It is not her I’m missing but a PATTERN!  ooolo99ikl;i.,pyknulmmmmmmmmmm 111